You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
