Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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