he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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