Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
