well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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