Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
pray to the hookup gods
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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