I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
