toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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