u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
