If i come over, it means nothing
wrigley field is MILF paradise
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
