I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
