I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
