That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize