I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
