I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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