Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
