u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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