there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
