I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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