I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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