if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize