the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
