escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
