Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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