Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
