My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
