Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
