I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
