I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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