I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
