i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
