I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So vagazzling was a success
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
