Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
