Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
