I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize
