Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize