and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
