I feel great
I just peed on a car
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
