I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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