Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
