Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
