I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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