I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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