woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I intend to get homeless drunk
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
