and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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