Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
