Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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