I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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