Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You are the jesus of drinking
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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