Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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