I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
