Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize