Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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