I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
