I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
