she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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