Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
