Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
