after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Help. Why am I so naked?
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