So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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