Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize