Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I want to fling myself into the sun
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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