this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
