I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
