That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
