If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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