angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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