dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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