You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize