I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
