What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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