i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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