Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
