He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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