I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
how drunk are you?
Several
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
