She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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