Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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