my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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