Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
