O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
