You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
