Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
