508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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