And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
