If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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