It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
