problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
